FAMIL120: Parenting Style vs Age

Children do not stay the same age. They grow quick as weeds and are just as smart at learning where the best space is to grow. If our children are in a constant state of development, then shouldn't our parenting be ever-evolving along with them?

Now we have all heard the argument from the oldest child that the youngest child has a set of parents that were not very similar to the ones that she had when growing up. While this is a valid observation of the older child, it also seems right to alter the parenting along with the child, right?

Steinberg (2005) starts the chapter about this very thing by saying "...basic principles of good parenting stay the same throughout childhood and adolescence...". So we know that there must be several basics that we can establish for all of the children in the home. But then the question is... what? What are those things?

On the UCLA website, they include some information that might give us a good baseline standard. "...when parents are warm, respectful, and supportive and hold consistent, firm, and rational expectations for behavior, adolescents are less likely to suffer from anxiety or depression or to abuse drugs or alcohol than their peers...". Well, I'm sure we can all say that we would like our children to not have to worry about anxiety or depression. So let us set our baseline for our interactions to be filled with support and love, and that we hold expectations that are reasonable for our children to reach. 

Great. So now we have a baseline. What comes next?

The next thing to be mindful of is our children are developing at a rapid pace, and they are going through changes that, while we went through it too, don't remember. Therefore, we have to be mindful of that development. This includes paying attention to our children as they change, and it means educating ourselves through articles and books that help us help them. By doing this, we will be constantly evolving and changing along with our children. 

References

Steinberg, L. D. (2005). Principle 4. In The ten basic principles of good parenting. chapter, Simon & Schuster Paperbacks.

UCLA. (n.d.). What the science tells us about parenting an adolescent. What the Science Tells Us About Parenting an Adolescent | Center for the Developing Adolescent. https://developingadolescent.semel.ucla.edu/topics/item/science-about-parenting-adolescent#:~:text=Research%20into%20parenting%20styles%20has,parents%20lack%20either%20warmth%20or